Black Friday

BLACK FRIDAY
by Chuck E. Tate

Thanksgiving is over
Black Friday is here
The crazies are out
Bye-bye Christmas cheer!

The clock is ticking
The race is on
Stuff to purchase
Stuff to pawn.

Pajama bottoms
Halter tops
Yoga pants
And flip flops.

Blue hair, messy hair,
Mullets, too
Elderly man at Walmart
Only wearing one shoe.

Billows of vapor
And alcohol breath
Looks like a poster
For “Don’t Smoke Meth.”

Ice cream truck driver
Weird mustache guy
Borderline stalking
Making kids cry.

Knocked down an old lady
Snagged her TV
Hope she stops bleeding
“Still worth it to me.”

Christmas music
Or Nickelback?
Too many choices
From the bargain-bin rack.

Xbox, Macbook,
iPad Air,
PS4,
Lazy Boy chair.

Stuff I don’t need
Stuff I don’t want
So many good deals
For Facebook to flaunt.

Countless long lines
Because of price checks
Jammed shopping cart wheels
And parking lot wrecks.

Thanksgiving is over
Black Friday is here
Next time I’ll stay home…
And drink coffee.